I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
