i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
