I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
