i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
