If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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