Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
