I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
