Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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