yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize