Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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