paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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