I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
