You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
