I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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