Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
