a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
