So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
