So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
