Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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