I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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