Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
