forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
do herpes really smell.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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