why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
