apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How does one acquire holy water?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
