Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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