I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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