I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
