If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize