I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just pee around me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
