sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You're so nebulous sometimes
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
