i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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