After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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