I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
