Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
