Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
