I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
