I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
