4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
