I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I could fuck to npr.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
