32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
