i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
