I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
