Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
