She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
