it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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