Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
