my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
