why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
