Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
