Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
