16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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