I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
