I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
