no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
