Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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