She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
