I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize