I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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