Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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