Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
