It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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