talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
