i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
