I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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