Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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