spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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