I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
